I think, therefore I write. (我思,所以我写。)

Cogito ergo scribo

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Despair

The hottest news in JB recently should be about the deteriorating public security, only that it's not something new.

The crime that hit the headlines a few weeks back actually took place in the neighbourhood where i stay, which again, isn't something new.

There was public outrage; there were calls for protest and petition; there was non-stop news coverage on the media; there were political figures who showed concerns and display of authority taking serious action. And all these, really, aren't something new at all.

A few friends of mine attended the peaceful protest last weekend. They said that instead of complaining about things, we should ask ourselves what we could do to make things better. Instead of whining about it with friends in the coffee shops and over emails (or perhaps they meant blog too?), we should do something to make a difference.

I admire their aspiration. I really do. While i'm grateful that our country have people like them, i asked myself if i've ceased to care.

Frankly, when i read about the news, i wasn't as upset as before. What i felt was, yet again, a sense of despair. All i did at that time was simply remarked to 贝, "you know what, i just realized that Malaysia is a country without police."

Yes, i'm afraid i've lost hope. I've questioned, i've wondered, i was upset at the cases after cases of crimes and felt disgusted at our inept authority. But there comes a time when one can't help but ask, "what's the point really?"

The country is sick. I'm not sure if there's ever gonna be a cure. Even if there's one, i'm not sure if i'm ever gonna see it in my generation.

For those who forever carry hope because of the love for the country, i have nothing but total respect. Sadly, i'm merely a mortal who's selfish and without much pertinacity. There's too much disappointment in life already; if i were to hold on to a hope for something, i would rather it be a thing that at least have a chance of coming true.

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Sunday, June 24, 2007 @ 2:55 am: Frustration at work
Wednesday, June 20, 2007 @ 3:28 am: Tiring
Thursday, June 14, 2007 @ 8:19 pm: Long weekend
Thursday, June 14, 2007 @ 7:46 pm: Two years (and two days) old
Tuesday, June 12, 2007 @ 3:25 am: Disgusting
Monday, June 11, 2007 @ 6:04 pm: A rant from last week
Friday, June 08, 2007 @ 3:10 am: Men
Thursday, June 07, 2007 @ 2:37 am: Busy at work
Monday, June 04, 2007 @ 2:33 am: The past weekend
Friday, June 01, 2007 @ 2:50 am: An unproductive day