I think, therefore I write. (我思,所以我写。)

Cogito ergo scribo

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Love

You said she told you that she has fallen in love with you. You said that for a traditional Chinese girl whose culture is unlike Western that is direct and outspoken, you believed it was not easy for her to say that to you and it must have taken her a great courage to utter those words.

I cannot and should not judge whether it is true or not, as i am not her and do not know her. Yet, for a person to fall in love with another in just three months time, when the time was mostly spent in talking to each other everyday and meeting each other for probably less than 5 times so far, i found it impalpable.

It is the same when i asked you why is it that you know, feel and believe that you love me a lot more than her, but you are worried about and couldn't bring yourself to hurt her at all than hurting me. You couldn't answer that yourself.

I know full well that love cannot be measured by the amount of time you know the person or come in contact with that person, and hence she may indeed have fallen in love with you already.

Maybe i just need to find a reason to feel better about this "love triangle", so i'd rather think that she likes you very very very much, and that gives her an illusion of loving you.

After all, what is love really?

Love is understanding a person inside out, knowing all the good and bad, beauty and ugliness in him and still love him for the way he is.

Love is wanting to spend the rest of your life with another person and sincerely believed that only he can bring you happiness, not taking into consideration of any materialistic things.

Love is when the possibility of losing the person forever is imminent, your world collapses; you can't eat and you can't sleep but you still do your best to stand up on your feet because you do not want him to feel miserable.

Love is not able to live a fulfilled life without the person, for which if that happens, true happiness will be taken away and you will forever feel this emptiness in you for the rest of your life.

Love is despite knowing that not having the person in your life will give you eternal heartache, you are still willing to let him go simply because you can't bear the thoughts and sights of him being trapped in a situation that will make him suffer.

Love is doing the right things for that person and for yourself, wanting to become a better person for him and for yourself.

Love is despite how much and how deeply the person has hurt you, you still can't bring yourself to hate him, blame him and even think badly of him.

Love is despite being a modern highly-educated woman who can live very well on her own, she is still willing to lower her self-esteem to place herself in a position of being one of the choices instead of making the choice herself.

Love is despite all the lies, betrayals, broken promises, heartaches and tears the person has brought to you, you can still find the courage to give him and yourself a second chance to start over again, no matter how difficult it is.

Love is despite being a super obstinate person who always sees the world as only black and white, and who always holds firmly on her values and principles, she is willing to bend all these things simply because of the love she has for you.

贝, all i want to tell you is this: love is not something that you can put on a weighing scale and measure which is more and which is less. It is not a competition of who gets the person in the end.

Love is giving your heart out totally without reservation, even if there is nothing in return.

And in case you have not noticed, i love you so deeply that you could ever imagine.

But then, it is probably pointless now to say all these, as it is not our hearts that matter but yours.

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Sunday, March 29, 2009 @ 12:16 pm: Insomnia
Friday, March 27, 2009 @ 4:40 pm: Miraculous cure
Friday, March 27, 2009 @ 3:04 am: Stressed
Thursday, March 26, 2009 @ 2:22 pm: Mistrust
Thursday, March 26, 2009 @ 11:45 am: Only left with love
Wednesday, March 25, 2009 @ 2:24 pm: Reminding the vows
Wednesday, March 25, 2009 @ 1:38 pm: Need to sleep desperately
Monday, March 23, 2009 @ 1:17 pm: You cannot blame me
Monday, March 23, 2009 @ 4:06 am: Obsession
Monday, March 23, 2009 @ 2:55 am: Roller coaster