Took the flight, reached the KL office, tried to work, had lunch with colleagues... but the whole day i was feeling very very very sad.
I tried to suppress my sorrow and pretend to be normal. As i was very tired, i went back to the hotel rather early. I felt the urge to cry, so i didn't want to stay in the room alone. I went out to the shopping mall and walked around aimlessly. I didn't feel like eating anything, not even the happy food that may have been able to make me happy.
Then i felt pointless and went back to the hotel. The moment i stepped into the room, i couldn't hold it anymore and cried like a baby. I felt extremely depressed and didn't know what to do, so i cried and cried and cried. I wasn't particularly thinking about anything, yet great sorrow consumed me and i just couldn't help myself. It seemed like even getting away from SG doesn't help much either.
Luckily a good friend of mine, SW, who stays in KL with her hubby, came over to meet me at the hotel. DS, she and i had been best friends back in our university days in Canada. She had always been the wise one among us. She talked to me, gave me advice and encouragement. Her words had great effect on me, and i felt a lot better after her visit.
Despite the unfortunate affair, i do know that i am very blessed. Whenever i am in troubles and sadness, there are always people around to help me, to stand by me, to encourage me and to guide me through the difficult times. I am not sure if this is because i've never been shy about asking for help or telling people about what i feel, or is it because i've never really committed any sin in my life and always strive to be a good person and God is looking after me for that.
Whatever it is, i am thankful for that.
Labels: introspection
