I think, therefore I write. (我思,所以我写。)

Cogito ergo scribo

Monday, December 21, 2009

I spoke but not enough

So i did what i said i'd do -- i spoke up.

Yes, during the Christmas lunch last Thursday, after a few speeches from the big shots, the HR asked everyone if we had any feedback on the office move and how we could make the office environment better.

I waited for like 5 seconds or so to see if anyone would say anything, and as expected, everyone just kept quiet. So i put up my hand and i could almost hear everyone gasped as i walked out to the front and faced the big shots.

I started off by thanking that HR woman for making it possible for us to stay at the same office rather than to move to another place (tactic #1: say something nice first before you say something bad).

Then i said that perhaps one day we would grow so big that we might have to move again and i hope this experience could serve as a lesson learnt and we shall improve on it the next time (tactic #2: make it sound not like fault finding but more like for the good of the future).

Then i said that the move was too rush and it created inconvenience and disruption of work for everyone. And because it being so rush, it made things very difficult for IT especially when it comes to network and telephone lines.

So as expected, that woman defended herself by saying that the negotiation and selection of design took a long time to finalise and it was not within their control for it to be so rush. She also took the chance to hint that her department has put in so much effort and hard work to rush it through, and praised her staff for their dedication. She said the very moment they confirmed the design and move, they involved IT into the discussion of things.

Well, all the crap that she said was actually all within our expectation. Before this, a few of us had a chat about this and we made a guess on what her reply might be. Even though her reply was not the exact words as we had guessed, we got all the content right. We knew that she would put it in a way that it wasn't her fault and how hard they worked through these and should got all the credits instead.

The thing is this -- she is a big liar. We all knew what REALLY happened, but the other top management doesn't.

The fact is that she was the one who caused all the delay. Since months ago, all of us knew of the deadline for returning the unit to the landlord, and she had sent in several vendors to look at the office to come up with a design. Yet, she took a long time to make the decision because the design she selected exceeded the given budget. She took a long time to negotiate the price with the vendor to no avail.

Normally in such situation, with a deadline at hand, one has three options: ask for more budget from the management, look for another contractor, or compromise on the design to fit into the budget (e.g. why do we need new carpet, new partitions, new desks and a new flat screen LCD in the pantry???). She didn't wanna chose the first option because it would look bad on her for not able to control the budget. She couldn't go with the second option because she had pretty much narrowed down to one vendor and it would take an even longer time to look for another one. She refused to go with the last option because of her "i-want-it-my-way-and-i-must-get-what-i-want" kind of personality.

In the end, time was running out and we were left with only two weeks before the deadline. That was when she finally had no choice but to ask for more budget and she got it.

Then with just two weeks left, that woman simply handed over the entire thing to her staff, who is just a HR Executive and had no prior experience in any office move or project management. This girl wasn't empowered to make any decision either, and that woman simply went on a business trip and left the whole thing to this poor girl. So what we got was a total chaos.

For instance, we didn't know where we sit even though the layout was already released. The HR girl must get that woman's approval on the seat arrangement and that woman again delayed on it. We all got to know which our seats were only on the day when we were back to work after the renovation. Imagine how difficult it was for IT personnel who needed to arrange for the telephone extension relocation.

And she was lying through her teeth when she said IT was roped in the very moment the design was confirmed. That was just a shit load of crap. The HR didn't feel that there was a need to involve us at all. It was actually our own initiative, whereby our IT Manager went to them and asked them about it because he was worried about the disruption of work for everyone if there was no network or telephone connection.

But then, what's the use of knowing all these? There is no concrete proof to any of these. I couldn't possibly jumped out and call her a liar. So i just kept quiet and let her finish her story, which convinced the top management of how good she was and how non-understanding we were.

I kinda asked myself why i was so cowardice for not saying more. At that point of time, i thought that it would be inappropriate to make the Christmas lunch celebration into an unhappy debating session. But in my heart i was asking if this was really the reason, or i simply didn't have the courage to say anything more?

The ironic part was that while i felt very disappointed at myself for not able to speak up more, a few colleagues actually came to me and said they admire my courage (despite i being the first to lead the way, still no one else said anything after that). Frankly, i didn't feel that i've done anything to show everyone the truth. Instead, what i did was being made used of by that woman to get even more credits for herself.

Now i come to see the point when the other colleagues asked me earlier about, "what the point is for speaking up if it doesn't change a thing?"

Yes, it is a sucky feeling when you did something, thinking that it was out of righteousness, but then in the end it doesn't change a thing simply because you feel that you haven't done enough.

Anyway, i just gotta tell myself that at least i've shown that woman that there is someone in the company who would not just remain silence. I may not have said all that i should, but i hope i've make a stand and with that, i could have a clear conscience.

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Don't be tooo hard to yourself! YOu're already much better than many other people. Just think it this way, most people in your current state of mind won't be bother about anything else; simpply too immerse with their own problem. Yet, you still stand up and speak up!

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Monday, December 21, 2009 @ 3:56 am: The past weekend
Saturday, December 19, 2009 @ 4:27 am: Not feeling well
Thursday, December 17, 2009 @ 5:22 am: Don't complain, speak up
Thursday, December 17, 2009 @ 4:57 am: Late nights
Tuesday, December 15, 2009 @ 5:05 am: Two-in-one to-buy
Tuesday, December 15, 2009 @ 4:57 am: Frustration abound
Monday, December 14, 2009 @ 4:27 am: Back to work tomorrow
Sunday, December 13, 2009 @ 8:47 am: Pet Society: Snowing
Sunday, December 13, 2009 @ 8:26 am: Jet lag
Saturday, December 12, 2009 @ 9:48 pm: Back in SG